Chocolate Chip or Vanilla—Decision-Making 101
By Terry Hadaway

Do you ever find yourself paralyzed by the decision-making process? Do your friends and family members avoid taking you to ice cream shops with more flavors than there are colors in a box of crayons? You might be suffering from “decision paralysis” or the inability to make decisions.

Decision-making isn’t as easy as some people make it sound. But there are a few steps you can take to minimize the discomfort and anxiety you experience when making decisions. Let’s start with the basics.

1. Know your boundaries! Never make a decision that causes you to violate your personal values. This is easy to do, for instance, if you are in the market for a new television but you have determined you will not use consumer credit for the purchase. No problem! When you realize the high definition plasma unit the salesman is pushing is more than the cash you have set aside for the purchase, it’s easy to walk away. You have a boundary (the use of credit) and you will not cross the line.

Decision-making is directly connected to advanced planning. The more you plan and establish the parameters within which the decision will be made, the better prepared you’ll be to make the decision. When you consider all of the possibilities, you’ll be more aware of the dangers of specific options.

But there are other situations that are more challenging. Let’s say that you are purchasing a home and you have several possibilities that are within the basic boundaries you established in advance. Then it’s time to move on to step number 2.

2. Differentiate needs from wants! There is a difference between needing transportation and wanting a high-priced sports car. Make decisions that satisfy the need without negatively affecting other areas of life. Stop and consider the ripple effects of the possible decisions and make the decision that least affects other areas of life.

Until you sort your needs from your wants, you will be perplexed by most decision-making opportunities. Every option will have pros, but you’ll never come to grips with the cons of those options. Many people don’t realize the cons until after the decision has been made.

I have a friend who needed transportation and went into the decision-making process haphazardly. As a result, he took the bait and leased a vehicle that he neither needed nor wanted! He acted impulsively, which leads us to the next step.

3. Resist impulsive decisions! The last thing most salespeople want is thinking customers. If they can force you into a quick decision, you’ll make their decision. When you set your boundaries, recognize your needs, you’ll make the right decision in time. Yet, people in our microwave society don’t want to wait.

You are faced with all kinds of decisions. Some decisions require quick thinking. But there is a difference between quick thinking and impulsiveness. The difference is control. Quick thinkers are in control of the process. They know the boundaries and needs and are able to process the options quickly. Impulsive thinkers place the control of the decision in the hands of others and become passive participants in other their own decisions.

Maybe you’ve been persuaded to change your long distance company or purchase insurance. After the fact, you feel victimized. Yet you made the decision. You were a passive participant in the decision-making process. You yielded your rights to someone who might not have your best interests in mind. You aren’t a victim; you are a participant in a doomed strategy for making decisions!

4. Do what’s right! By choosing to live in community with other people, you accept that community’s rules. We all are governed by federal, state, and local laws. Additionally, we have rules for living in our sub-divisions, working for our employers, parking at the mall, and boating on the lake. We have a choice—live in the community and abide by all of the rules or choose a different community. By staying, we agree in principle to be governed by the applicable authorities.

So, we understand the authority thing. Now comes the hard part—obey the rules! Guess what—the fire lane in front of the discount store isn’t a parking space. Put your car between the lines just like everyone else! You might be in a hurry; but so are most of the other people who parked in the parking lot. When you willingly choose to disobey the rules you stroll head-on into the consequences.

Determining to obey the rules that govern our existence makes many decisions much easier. Sometimes we make a big deal out of decisions that aren’t really decisions at all; we are simply postponing the inevitable.

Doing what’s right might force us to put the needs of others before our own needs. That’s not a bad thing. Living in community with others, whether it is a physical community or a church community, demands we consider others before ourselves. It’s an attitude rooted in Scripture and proven effective throughout history.

There is more to say about making decisions, but this gives us a good starting point:

1. Know your boundaries!

2. Differentiate needs from wants!

3. Resist impulsive decisions!

4. Do what’s right!

Making better decisions really is that simple! I’m just not sure this will help you select an ice cream flavor!

Terry Hadaway is an author, editor, professor, and conference leader. He is recognized as one of today's authorities on adult education, especially in church settings. He is the author of several books and articles including 30 Seconds to Chaos; Mastering the Art of "What If" Thinking. Visit http://www.thinkezine.com for more information on his writing and conference leading.

Dr. Hadaway earned his PhD at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky where his dissertation addressed the issue of adult education in small groups in the church. He is the creator of the "Teaching Styles Evaluator" and helps churches improve their teaching ministries. He is married and has two children.